You Could Be Happy
by kisa-chan-2006
Summary: Sometimes I think it was all my fault. But then I start to think, that you actually wanted to go. Like you said before, you can't trap a free wind in a wire cage. I guess I was that wired cage. A songFic


**A/N**

**Hello, This is the first song-fic, oneshot thingie I have ever written so please don't hate me. Okay so just in case you don't know, you know that if you don't ask Cliff if he wants the job at the winery that he will leave Mineral Town forever. Well, I based this story on that particular event, I just dramatized a little...okay alot. Well, enjoy and R&R!**

**kisa-chan-2006**

**Disclaimer: Nope I don't own Harvest Moon, and I DO NOT own Snow Patrols Lyrics. Thanks!**

_You could be happy and I won't try to know._

Ally wiped a stray tear from her already streaked cheek as she watched the ferry's' outline shade into the distance.

In her hand she held a wreath of flowers given to her from him the day before he decided to go. Gripping the flowers in her shaking hand, she bit her lip, trying to hold back a sob. To no avail did she hold it in; instead she just stood there, crying, wishing with all her strength that he would decide the love she had given him instead of some else's. Still, I wondered, was he happy or did he just think he was?

_But you weren't happy the day I watched you go._

Slowly walking away, I let go of the flowers, dropping them onto the moist sand. Petals flew in every which direction, following the winds random path. Leaving them behind, I made my way to the Library, the only place I can think of going right now. While I was walking, I thought of the argument we had engaged the day before, and remembered the things I said too. Maybe I had said too much…

_And all the things that I wished I had not said_

I clenched my fists in sheer frustration; it was my words that made you go, wasn't it? No matter how I thought of it, it was still my fault. The worst thing was, no matter how much I wished I could go back in time and rearrange my foolish actions, I couldn't. And I would regret saying those things until the end of my life.

_Are played on my lips 'till it's madness in my head._

I finally reached the Library and walked up to the front door, I went up to open the door and hesitated for a second. Thoughts running a million miles in my blurred mind, I decided to go in. Pushing the creaky door open I caught a glimpse of Mary writing at her desk. I would go in…and talk to her. Not like she would understand anyway. She has everything I just lost. I walked in, sitting down in one of the vacant chairs. Sighing heavily, she walked over to me and put a comforting hand on my shoulder. In a raspy voice full of tears I said. "He's gone…"

_Is it too late to remind you how we were? _

She dropped down in the chair nearest me and ran her hand through her course black hair. While I sat there, my facial features void of all emotion. "Did he say anything to you?"

I shook my head and let a tear slip down my face. Rubbing my eyes I curled up on the chair and sobbed quietly. "I…I was going to write him a letter…I think it's too late to do anything." She didn't say a word after I said that, she just pulled me into a friendly embrace and held me there. After a few minutes she stood up and slowly walked up the staircase to the second floor, leaving me to my thoughts of dejection.

_But not our last days of silence, screaming, blur._

I couldn't think of anything but the argument we had held the day before, and the sorrow that had took place after that. Each minute that I sat there thinking I asked myself, why did I say that to you, and then why didn't I say anything to apologize? I was foolish and stubborn minded. Maybe if I just threw that pride away and stuffed it into the trash bag, maybe I could have saved us. But then again…It was too late anyway. I should have said I was sorry and stopped you from leaving.

_Most of what I remember makes me sure._

I sat there and wondered, why did I just let you leave? Is everybody that stupid when they're angry? I walked out of the library without saying goodbye, and trudged down the street, raindrops falling on the already moist ground. I walked to the bench in rose square and sat there being drenched in the falling water. I think it scared me to think you would never come back.

_I should have stopped you from walking out the door._

It stopped raining, the ground now covered in puddles. The sky however, remained a dusky gray. Glancing up at the sky I walked the remaining distance to my shack of a farm. When I got there I wrapped myself in a thin blanket and numbly sat at the kitchen table in front of a weak cup of tea. I know I should be angry at you for leaving but I can't bring myself to put any blame on you. I already know, it was me who drove you out. I just hope that your new love makes you happy.

_You could be happy, I hope you are_

I wish I could tell you what I felt when I was with you, but now it's too late for that. I remember the fond memories of us, on our first date, making dinner together, going to church in the mornings and falling asleep in the middle of it. You made my heart ecstatic, and I am grateful to you for that. I think I loved you more than anything.

_You made me happier than I'd been by far_

A few minutes later I went through my closet, trying to get rid of everything that could possibly remind me of you, even in the smallest possible way. The problem was, everything reminded me of you, even the small puppy lying at the end of my bed, snuggling into the down comforter. Great…something else too, to strike a chord at me.

_Somehow everything I own smells of you_

Giving up the quest to get rid of those memories, I sat on my bed, curled in a fetal position, telling myself that it could possibly be true. Thoughts running through my head, clearly speaking that it all couldn't possibly be true. That this was all a detailed dream, which was taking place in my deepest imagination, corrupting the voices from reality trying to tell me that it was real.

_And for the tiniest moment it's all not true_

What's sad is, I can't really stop these events from happening. After hours of self blame and culpability I finally realized, you did this because you wanted to. I couldn't stop you if I really tried my hardest. I guess it was just the thing you decided to do.

_Do the things that you always wanted to_

I'm kind of glad that you left, so I wouldn't have to deal with the constant knowing that you loved somebody else and not me. Besides, I was always in your way, blocking your eyesight of the direction your life was supposed to go. Just leave my heart soon and go on with your life.

_Without me there to hold you back, don't think, just do_

Moving from my spot on the bed I went over to the table and took my bitter tea from its waiting spot on the worn wood surface and dumped its chilly contents into the sink. While in the process, I'm trying to wash out remains of you lingering in my heart. I should be happy that you're leaving but somehow I can't think of anything to be happy for. When you left and I saw you looking forlornly over the balcony of the ship, there was this aching pain searing deep into my chest. Even now it still lingers there, burning holes into my heart.

_More than anything I don't want to see you go_

Setting the porcelain cup on the counter, I sighed heavily, rubbing my fingers in apprehension. Anxiety gripping my feelings, binding them in a tight rope weaved from the very threads of sorrow. Again and again I tell myself that it wasn't my fault that you decided to go on your own. You wanted to go. Like once you said to me while we were walking down the mountain from our picnic, "You can never cage a traveling wind in a wired cage." Now I know what you meant by that, you were never meant to be crowded in a cage like that, you always went where you felt you should. Still, sometimes I think it was still some of my fault.

_Take a glorious bite out of the whole world_


End file.
